Running Log and Inspiration

Running has been going well enough I would say. I mean right now its just a baby step, and by that I mean I go out for a total of 24 (yes 24) minutes. Walk at a good pace for 5 mins, than run for a 1 min than repeat 4 times. I've been able to push a some of my running bursts up to just about 2 minutes. Next week the goal is walk for 4 mins and run for 2 mins than repeat 4x. I had to take yesterday off though, the weather was cruddy. I would have ran in the rain, but it stormed for a good portion of the day, and I'm a chicken when it comes to being outside during storms. When I worked out at the barns, I wouldn't leave the barn if I was out there during a storm.

Random note, I was dancing around in the kitchen today, once my parents went to bed, and I am happy to say that my pirouettes are way better than they have been in a while. I think I was pulling up and getting under myself better, and the engagement of my muscles to help create the rotation was far better than I can remember. I guess I just needed a bit of time off to come back to it and notice an improvement. I really miss my dance classes right about now. I'm trying to keep up with some of my skills when I can, but for the most part I'm losing some of my ability.

Anyways, please forgive me I have yet to figure out how to embedd youtube videos on here, but I want to share this video with you guys. I had got it from another blog I follow: A Fat Girl & A Fat Horse its by Joy Nash and it is totally uplifting.



(Look I figured it out!!)

I'm no where near condoning obesity, but the overall message of this video is uplifting. It seems backed up by facts and in general she's promoting the message to accept yourself, and to be the change you want to be in the world. If all "Fat People" gain the self confidence and change how we view ourselves, we an change the "fat hate" we see in society today. It's actually kind of funny when you think about it, as obesity rates grown fat hate is growing as well, or at least I perceive it as growing. I think Joy Nash says it quite well in her third installment of the fat rant "Fat Hate is one of the only forms of prejudice where the people who are subjected to it feel like they're getting exactly what they deserve". Perhaps its the monster that hides in my mind, but I know that when I hear a negative comment made about my weight, I feel like I deserve it. People need to learn that we are fully aware of our bodies, and that we don't have that sleek, think ideal of the media. We don't need their comments and nasty words reinforcing it to us. We're human beings too and deserve to be treated with just as much respect as our tiny counterparts.

This is overall inspiring, to do myself better. Everyone tells me I need to learn to love myself, and its true. I remember attending an event that Madeleine and her staff team ran, it involved healthy active living and self esteem components. I cried when I was in that room. They asked us to answer questions like "The favourite part of my body" "Something we're thankful our bodies let us do". The sheer thought of looking at my body in any sort of positive light is what brought tears to my eyes - the realization that it felt almost impossible to do because my vision of myself is so clouded by years of sickness and ridicule. And aside from the actual physical weight, that is one thing I want to change. I want to be able to look at myself and realize that yeah I may have some work to do, but I'm perfect, and beautiful just the way I am. That battle is going to be long and hard fought, potentially involving some serious neuro-reconstruction (thank goodness for neural plasticity. But I will, eventually win that battle, and see myself in the light that I should be. I pledge that to myself.