Things have been...whats the best way to say it? Crazy? Yeah, I think that's the word, and quite frankly friends, I want off this tilt-a-whirl already. I'm done with it, it's only making me dizzy. Refund, rain check, I don't care just let me off already!
I totally forgot how much more work 5 courses is as compared to just 4, which I've spoiled myself with for the past year and a half. Between now and the end of the month, I have a grand total of 5 presentations and 4 papers due, not to mention 2 more mini papers and gosh knows how many more quizzes between two of my classes. Basically midterms ended, I had about 4 days of 'break' where my mind was a complete and total bucket of mush, spent gloriously recovering watching mindless television and movies every evening. Then back to the grind, and I'm finding it insanely, insanely hard to get back to work, and focus. Now, when I say 5 presentations, I don't mean like formal, get up in front of your university class and talk about something you researched. No, one of my courses is a seminar course, and for the second half of the course we actually go into high schools and teach high school students. It's a really, neat and awesome concept and I really, really enjoy it, but together, my group and I spent about 5 hours putting together our lesson plans for our lessons this week, and each class is 75 minutes long, so yeah I totally think they classify as presentations. And on top of all this, I'm currently getting sick. I've got a bit of a sore throat and have been coughing up phlegm. Great end to the semester! I just hope it doesn't carry on into exams!
My mind has been playing come and go games, and I know that the other night, I had a major melt down bit, and I did some 'thought cascading' or 'free association' whatever which way you want to put it, and once I was calmed down, was amazed at the attrocious things that were flying through my head. Some of it was about my body, and my image of it, some of it was based on family stressors that I feel as if I'm responsible for, and a lot of it was about feeling worn out or "done" as I put it. I've been working my ass off academically this semester, and so far, mark wise its paying off, with an average that is probably around 80% or higher, and there are some days where I'm out of the house from 8am all the way through to around 9pm. My world is School, teaching, work, sleep, repeat. To the point where I went to the Royal with my housemate on Saturday, and felt guilty for taking a day off to go out. Why? Because I wasn't getting any school work done. Kinda sad isn't it?
I mean, overall, I'm tired, and stressed but I'm not feeling badly. I'm just feeling the wear of my blistering schedule, and really, I just want the semester to be over. I'm one of those weird people who actually LIKE final exams. Yes, they're exams and yes, as a general rule they suck, but I much rather have finals, where all I have to do is study, write and repeat, rather than this whole, go to lecture, keep up with readings, do assignments and study all at the same time that goes along with regular class work and midterm season.
At the start of the semester, my staff team and I decided to join a intermural innertube water polo team. At first I joined, rather tentatively, refusing to play anything but goalie, because I had this notion that there was no way I could "get my fat ass to sit in the tube". Now, this expectation came from a previous attempt at playing this game, that I was kind of rushed into, and I was by no means able to actually get myself into the tube and sit in it. Well, a few games in, I finally got enough courage to actually try to make it work, and after a few tries, I was actually able to balance myself in the tube, and slowly started to be able to make myself get around in it. In our last game, we ended up having to default, because not enough of our players showed up, but we ended up just having a scrimmage with some of the players from the other team on our side. I have to say that that was perhaps the best time I've had since we started playing. I almost actually got 3 goals, and only managed to 'dunk myself' (i.e. lost my balance in the tube and had to swim back to the side to 're mount' my tube). I'm starting to be able to swim around faster while sitting in/on the tube, and have discovered that I'm actually a decent play maker. Just don't stick me in defense because well... I'm still not that good. This was totally one of the high points of my week!
The Royal, as I mentioned earlier, although the lingering feelings of guilt was absolutely fantastic. I ended up seeing an demonstration by Stacey Westfall, a fantastic western rider, who does reining with her horses. What's neat about her though, is that she is world renowned for her bareback and bridleless performances. Although she didn't bring her fantastic, gorgeous mare, Roxy to demonstrate on, she had an equally gorgeous young stallion/gelding that she was working on. It was neat to have to take some time after her performance to go through and talk to use about the cues she uses, and the processes she goes through to get her horses to the point of working completely with out tack. I think my favourite line of the night was "counter canter... a fancy way of saying wrong lead on purpose. So, if some one calls you out for being on the wrong lead you can say "I'm counter cantering!"... unless it's your instructor than you're in trouble anyways". If you're not a horse person you might not get it, but regardless I thought it was hilarious. Other than that we got to see a bunch of other international equestrian heroes, making that night a truly spectacular one for me indeed.
Well anyways, off I go, hopefully get one of my mini papers started and/or done before I turn in for the evening.
Enjoy the song, which for once doesn't have anything to do with my given mood!
